Sunday, December 19, 2010
Persuasive Argument
Throughout history, we of citizens have never seen anything brutal as this. Mr. Hyde, known for assaulting a youngster a year ago, has again committed another crime. Brutally beaten and murdering Sir Danver Carew, Mr. Hyde mysteriously disappears, as everyone far knows that he is wanted. It was said by a maid looking out the window, as she experience the whole killing. Showing no emotion, Hyde beats Carew senselessly with his cane, and runs away, leaving the body and half of his cane, hoping no one would find him. As the police investigate, they already conclude that Hyde is the killer, yet they don't find him and put him under bars. This exactly happened with the little girl incident, as they don't arrest Hyde for his poor manners. That's why I, along with my supporters, are against this man.
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This is a great start! I applaud your sense of the proper point of view for this writing assignment. Just as any other writing/speech there needs to be a distinct beginning, middle, and end. I think you made attempts at all of these essential parts, but I believe a little more effort in elaboration and powerful word choice needs to be made before the final writing is turned in. Try to separate your reasons for prosecuting Hyde into distinct paragraphs and work on the specific details/evidence/language for each. I believe your first and most essential reason for prosecuting Hyde is the actual facts, evidence, and witnesses to the murder. Next, you could move on to prove his lack of respectable character as proven by others that knew him or his past altercations (such as the trampling of the girl). Your final reason is not really developed as of yet. Try to consider what Victorian society care most about. Use your knowledge of their morals, values, fears,etc. to develop a final reason they should not hesitate to put Hyde behind bars. Right now, you have many ideas that are good, but the writing as whole is disorganized and goes back and forth between separate points but doesn't fully develop them. A final hint: try watching some courtroom TV drama or viewing some youtube clips that demonstrate some common legal language/phrases that will help to make your writing sound more authentic. Best of luck.
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